Top Tips for Successful Godly Courting and Dating
Learn essential tips for successful Godly courting and dating to build meaningful, faith-based relationships that honor God and each other
Practical Advice for Honoring God While Navigating Courting and Dating
Courting and dating can be an exciting but challenging part of life, especially for Christians seeking to honor God in their relationships. In today’s world, the idea of relationships often focuses on personal desires, fleeting emotions, and unrealistic standards set by society.
It’s easy to lose sight of God’s purpose for love, leaving many people confused or disheartened. Successful and Godly courting and dating are different—they aim to build a relationship centered on faith, purity, and a shared commitment to honoring God.
When couples approach relationships with this mindset, they experience not only romance but also spiritual growth, leading to a strong foundation for marriage.
In this article, we’ll explore practical tips for pursuing Godly courting and dating while keeping biblical principles as the cornerstone of your journey.
Understanding the Difference Between Courting and Dating
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Many people misunderstand “courting” and “dating,” assuming they are the same. However, there are key differences, especially from a biblical perspective.
Courting:
Courting is intentional. It’s the process of building a relationship with the purpose of marriage in mind. It involves prayer, accountability, and spiritual growth together while honoring God in all aspects of the relationship. It is not rushed or casual but instead follows a purposeful path, seeking to discern if the couple is compatible for marriage.
Dating:
Dating, in today’s culture, often lacks purpose. It focuses on emotions, chemistry, and physical attraction but may not consider God’s will for the relationship. This type of dating can become casual or temporary, leading to confusion, heartbreak, or unfulfilled desires.
While dating itself is not wrong, Christians must shift their focus to purposeful and God-centered relationships. By approaching courting and dating with a clear intention to honor God, couples can avoid unnecessary pain and cultivate relationships that glorify Him.
Building a Foundation on Faith and Purpose
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Every relationship needs a solid foundation to thrive, and for Christians, that foundation must be faith in God. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Here are practical ways to build a Christ-centered foundation in courting and dating:
Pray Together and Individually: Prayer invites God into your relationship. Pray for wisdom, clarity, and purity in your intentions. Seek God’s guidance as you navigate each step of your journey.
Study the Bible Together: Reading God’s Word as a couple strengthens your spiritual bond. Start with passages like Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, which highlight the power of unity in Christ.
Seek Godly Counsel: Mentors, pastors, and married couples can offer valuable wisdom and advice. Surround yourselves with people who will encourage you to keep God at the center of your relationship.
Suggested Reading:
“Before You Marry Read This” by Matthew N. O Sadiku and Janet O. Sadiku: The book is essentially premarital counseling. It is a must-read before you consider marrying a person.
“Selfishness: It's Impact on Marriage & Relationships” by Matthew N. O Sadiku and Janet O. Sadiku: This book reveals that selfishness breaks God’s Ten Commandments and covers the impact of selfishness and its manifestations in marriage
When God becomes the foundation of your relationship, He will guide you toward His will and strengthen your commitment to each other.
Setting Healthy Boundaries in Courting and Dating
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Healthy boundaries are essential for honoring God and protecting the integrity of your relationship. Without boundaries, it’s easy to fall into temptation or develop emotional dependence that leads to heartbreak. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 states, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.”
Here’s how to set practical boundaries:
Physical Boundaries: Avoid situations that may lead to temptation. Limit physical affection, such as kissing or spending time alone in private spaces. Remember that purity honors God and prepares you for marriage.
Emotional Boundaries: Avoid becoming overly dependent on your partner for validation or fulfillment. Take time to build trust and ensure your relationship is progressing at a healthy pace.
Spiritual Boundaries: While praying and studying together are important, avoid creating spiritual intimacy that might feel forced or insincere. Let your spiritual growth develop naturally over time.
Healthy boundaries show love, respect, and a commitment to pleasing God. They allow couples to focus on building a relationship based on faith and trust rather than physical or emotional dependency.
Developing a Christ-Centered Friendship First in Courting and Dating.
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One of the most overlooked aspects of courting and dating is friendship. Before pursuing romance, focus on building a strong, Christ-centered friendship. This will help you see each other’s character, values, and personality without the pressure of physical attraction or emotions clouding your judgment.
Why Friendship Matters in Courting and Dating.
It allows you to observe how your partner handles challenges, faith, and relationships with others.
It builds trust and mutual respect, which are essential for a healthy marriage.
It provides a foundation that can sustain your relationship through difficult seasons.
Practical Steps to Build Friendship:
Spend time together in group settings, such as church activities or volunteer opportunities.
Study the Bible together, focusing on passages that encourage unity, such as Ecclesiastes 4:9-12.
Encourage each other’s personal growth in Christ. Share sermons, books, and testimonies that inspire faith.
Friendship deepens your understanding of each other and ensures that your relationship is built on more than just chemistry.
Seeking Compatibility in Core Values and Faith
Compatibility is essential for a successful and Godly relationship. While no two people are perfect, couples should share the same faith and values to build a lasting marriage. 2 Corinthians 6:14 states, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?”
Questions to Discuss Early in the Relationship:
How does your faith influence your life decisions?
What role does God play in your relationship and future family?
What are your long-term goals for marriage, career, and ministry?
Suggested Reading
“Secrets of Successful Marriages” by Matthew N. O Sadiku and Janet O. Sadiku: If you want your marriage to be happy and successful, you must be willing to discover the secrets and put them into practice. This book gives you those secrets and how to apply them
Discussing these questions early helps couples avoid surprises later and ensures they are aligned spiritually and emotionally.
Navigating Challenges in Courting and Dating
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Every relationship faces challenges, but God’s Word offers wisdom for overcoming them.
Temptation: Pray together, avoid compromising situations, and rely on God’s strength (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Disagreements: Handle conflicts with humility, patience, and love (Ephesians 4:2-3). Speak honestly but kindly, seeking resolution rather than victory.
External Pressures: Don’t let societal expectations rush your relationship. Trust God’s timing and plan for your journey.
By leaning on God during challenges, couples develop stronger trust and reliance on Him.
Involving Your Community and Family when it comes to Courting and Dating.
Godly relationships flourish in the community. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.”
Involve trusted mentors, family, and friends in your relationship.
Seek accountability to stay on track with your faith and boundaries.
Attend church together and participate in group events to strengthen your relationship.
The community provides wisdom, encouragement, and support for couples navigating courting and dating.
Preparing for a Godly Marriage
The ultimate goal of Godly courting and dating is marriage. Use this time to prepare for a life-long commitment.
Attend premarital counseling to learn biblical principles for marriage (Proverbs 19:20).
Discuss roles, responsibilities, and expectations for marriage.
Cultivate habits like prayer, forgiveness, and serving each other that will sustain a healthy marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-33 offers a clear blueprint for Godly marriage, highlighting the importance of love, respect, and selflessness.
Conclusion
Godly courting and dating require intentionality, faith, and a desire to honor God. By setting boundaries, building a Christ-centered friendship, and involving trusted mentors, couples can create relationships that glorify God and prepare them for
marriage.
As 1 John 4:19 says, “We love because He first loved us.” Let God’s love be the example that guides your journey. Trust His timing, seek His wisdom, and commit to honoring Him in every step of your relationship
Courting and Dating-Frequently Asked Questions
What does courted mean in dating?
'Courting' means to seriously woo or pursue someone romantically. You do and say a lot of things to show your high level of care and regard for them in your life. You're trying to get them to see you as a great potential partner so that they'll choose you and get together with you.
Is dating before courtship?
Courtship and dating are not mutually exclusive, but successive stages in a relationship process. A lot of Christians are talking about courtship instead of dating as a way to prepare for marriage.
Why is dating called courting?
Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a marriage proposal. Courtship as a social practice is a relatively recent phenomenon, emerging only within the last few centuries.
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